“I would happily die for my country, but I will do all I can to get out of

paying income tax. No-one is patriotic about taxes.”—G. Orwell.

This came to mind Sunday as we were driving to Connecticut. Bear in

mind, please, that both myself and the missus are keen patriots of the

new-citizen variety.

Well, we got into some mutual grumbling about our car, which is a 1997 Chevy

Malibu. The Derbs’ other car is a 1993 Mercury Topaz. Both cars are

turkeys, that have given us nothing but trouble from the get-go. (Both

bought new.)

On the Malibu, for example, the odomoter is *invisible* in daylight. The

dashboard shelf is so angled and colored that the reflection from it in

bright sunlight makes the windshield opaque. Etc. etc.

As for the Topaz: A few weeks ago I took it to our mechanic for a new

muffler. The following conversation ensued.

Me: “Any chance you might have another go at the stalling problem?”

He: “Not at a price you want to pay, no. The Topaz’s have all got it.

Nobody can fix it. It’s just fundamental bad auto design. What year is

it?”

Me: “93.”

He: “[Mild blasphemy]. Yours is probably the last one on the road. For

goodness’ sake, junk it and get yourself a Honda.”

Well, there we were, me and Rosie, on the New England Thruway chewing over

this. And what we agreed was, that our next car will NOT be an American

one. We figure we’ve paid our dues as far as patriotic car-buying is

concerned. Our next car will be one that *works*.