My Impromptus today begins with an urgent issue: Ukraine. Putin has been preparing the ground for an invasion (another one). Does this matter? I mean, to the world outside Ukraine? It does. I also touch on Jimmy Lai and China; Donald Trump and dictators; political violence in America; etc. Not the merriest Impromptus, but worthwhile all the same, I think.

You want merry? Let’s do some restaurant names. I said on Monday that Kevin Williamson had informed me of the greatest restaurant name in world history: “El Mofo Loco.” Were there any candidates for second place?

A reader writes,

A couple of my siblings and my parents arrived home from a safari in South Africa just ahead of the omicron variant (my parents probably gave me more gray hairs than I ever gave them with canceled flights and then traveling home via Ethiopia). While spending a couple of days in the gorgeous surfing town of Jeffreys Bay my mom noticed “Sergeant Pepperoni’s J-Bay Pizza.”
I love a good play on words and a Beatles reference.

Another reader writes,

My favorite is “The Obstinate Daughter,” from Sullivan’s Island, outside Charleston, S.C.
We have two daughters in our blended family of nine, and both of them would wear the title proudly!
Great restaurant as well.

Speaking of Charleston: Another reader cites “Swig & Swine,” where you can get your barbecue and beer.

You got Fat Ho Burger in Waco, says a reader. Elsewhere there is “Nacho Daddy.” And then this:

I give you the now-defunct Nacho Mama’s. Not to be confused with the dozens of similarly titled establishments . . .
What made this Nacho Mama’s great? Because I encountered it as a juror for a personal-injury case. The plaintiff alleged to have tripped during a restaurant-organized conga line and injured his knee.
Picture all these stone-faced attorneys and witnesses attempting to keep a straight face while having to say “Nacho Mama’s” in court. To everyone’s credit, nobody cracked up laughing.
My time with Nacho Mama’s taught me one important lesson, among others: Be careful what you name your business, should you have to defend it in court.

Marvelous. Thank you to one and all. I’ll publish more mail later. Again, for today’s Impromptus, go here.