I’m getting a fine crop of suggestions for music to despair by. The Scandinavians are making a strong showing. My Norwegian pal (the one who recorded this for me) recommends one of his countrymen:

One cannot omit Fartein Valen. Here is an example of his cheerful approach (there are many others).

That the fellow survived high school with a name like “Fartein” is a small miracle. Perhaps it accounts for his subsequent outlook on life.

A distinguished musicologist e-mailed in with:

In my humble opinion, the most depressing piece of music by a wide margin is Mahler’s Die Kindertotenlieder. Nevsky doesn’t come close. (Nor does anything else.)
Die Kindertotenlieder is/are one haunting, prolonged muffled groan of sadness and despair. Throw in remorse. Simply heartbreaking. Simply wonderful.

Kindertotenlieder means “Songs on the Deaths of Children.” The immortal Kathleen Ferrier gives the general idea here.

I’m sure I remember Die Kindertotenlieder featuring in an episode of (of all things!) Cheers. Can’t find a clip on YouTube, though. Is my memory correct, anyone know?

I have likewise included a fragment of the Kindertotenlieder in the pilot episode of a sitcom I have written and am trying to pitch to the networks. Provisionally titled Groans, the show features a bar in North Dakota whose Norwegian American patrons converse in anguished tones about the vapid optimism that will soon bring civilization crashing down in ruins. Interested TV producers can contact me via National Review.