Arriving in Dublin late one night with Vice President George H. W. Bush and his party (I was writing speeches for the veep), a hungry colleague and I discovered that very restaurant in the city had closed. Asking around, we found a cab driver who had a cousin who worked in a restaurant. The driver took us to the restaurant, the cousin fired up the stove, and half an hour later later we found ourselves served boiled potatoes, boiled cauliflower, and boiled sole, all of which was, you will note, white, and which was buried in a sauce that was also, as if to avoid confusing us, white. Never had either of us ever laid eyes on a meal so utterly unappetizing. Yet we were alone in the restaurant, with the cook himself delightedly hovering around us, and with no choice, we…ate.

Someone, please tell me that over the last quarter century food in Ireland has improved.