First, the media attacks Marco Rubio because of his parents’ immigration application, filed before he was born. Herman Cain was the next target, for putting his “flattened palm near his chin,” a universally recognized sexual gesture. Now, Slate informs us that Jon Huntsman doesn’t speak Chinese all that well, though the writer acknowledges that he nonetheless “sounds fluid and comfortable.” Next up: Gary Johnson rolled through a stop sign in 1995, and Rick Santorum has a habit of taking a penny, but not leaving a penny, at the 7-Eleven.

Rev. Jeremiah Wright was unavailable for comment.