I’m not proud, but I’m disappointed: I had pictured an L.A.-area “Wal-Mart City, California” where an Alec Baldwin one night would be forced to stop in for…whatever Alec Baldwin can get at a Wal-Mart and still live with himself. He walks in and happens to walk into the table with Hollywood, Interrupted: Insanity Chic in Babylon–The Case Against Celebrity on sale–the only place anywhere near Hollywood that’ll sell it. He pays in cash (no record he was ever there!) for his absolute-necessity item, and makes a run for civilization.

And, oh, by the way: Speaking of Wal-Mart, do read Jay Nordlinger in the current issue of NRODT. (You know, you can subscribe and have access every issue—subscribe to the Digital edition here, or, subscribe to the paper edition—which includes the digital version–here!)