Dear Trout,

Tomorrow morning is judgment morning. If you are a trout, especially a trout residing in the (appropriately named) Fishkill area of New York, I’m coming for you. You may tell yourself, “Oh, I don’t have anything to worry about, Oh that Lowry has only gone fly-fishing once or twice.” But if you are a young, naïve, inexperienced, very, very, small trout, if the past is any guide, you are in maximum jeopardy tomorrow. Consider yourself warned.

In all dead-earnest sincerity,

Rich Lowry