Jane Austen, says the UK publisher Wordsworth Editions, wasn’t pretty enough for modern tastes. So, I kid you not, they’ve given her portrait a makeover for their forthcoming editions.

Why should just the distaff side be affected by this unfathomable phenomenon? They should get the Queer Eye gang in (after all, they’re not doing anything) to gussy up the portraits of some of the less attractive mail authors. Doctor Johnson a little too jowly? Enter a new Sam with pecs and sixpack. Hemingway’s beard just has to go. And Shakespeare? He’s bald! We can fix that with Fabio-like locks…

All you graphics whizzes out there should consider this a challenge…