He goes to orphanages and tells the kids they’re too stupid to get adopted.

Pete Stark is the guy who made up the phrase “nice guys finish last.” He said it to his mother the day he evicted her.

Pete Stark puts peanuts in brownies and sells them to kids with allergies as “peanut-free.”

At a meeting with PETA in his office, Stark quietly ate kittens while listening to their complaints.

Every year Pete Stark goes to the local Boys and Girls Club dressed as Santa. When the kids sit on his lap he tells them, “You sucked this year. You owe me a present. How much cash do you have on you?”

Pete Stark constantly posts to the Democratic Underground website and calls the other posters George W. Bush ass-kissers.

When Pete Stark saw Birth of a Nation he laughed throughout the whole thing while smoking a cigar like Robert DeNiro in Cape Fear.

Every bowl of vichyssois ever served contains trace amounts of Pete Stark’s urine.