Stomach pains, a pounding headache, and a low-grade fever sent me from the office to my bed this afternoon, and my wife now informs me that one of the children’s friends, with whom our oldest daughter spent much of the weekend, is down with chicken pox. Can a middle-aged man who had chicken pox when he was a child come down with the dreaded pox a second time? (Is there a doctor in the house?)

In any event, She Who Must Be Obeyed, never particularly sympathetic when her husband falls ill (with five children to oversee, she simply lacks the strength) has told me to stay away from the kids, placing me under quarantine in my own home.

Clear liquids, Tylenol…and zero fun.