The mail about my sex-toy party column is coming in. For the record, my column was agnostic on the propriety of sex toys in the bedroom; what I find objectionable is making the most intimate details of one’s sex life fodder for happy-go-lucky social events. Here’s a letter from a fellow New Yorker who thinks I’m a prude:

To the question of whether American’s are better off for the past 40 years of self indulgence, I’d say on balance hell yes. And I also proudly call myself a conservative Republican of the libertarian variety. The fear of ‘me’ held by social conservatives strikes me as equally dangerous to the health of our modern society as the liberal’s worship of complete moral relativism. With all of our knowledge and wealth and sweat and toil over the past few thousand years, can’t we allow ourselves the enjoyment of a little decadence? Gee whiz man, I mean, can’t the ladies indulge their sexual curiosities and have some fun without it meaning society is unravelling and the family unit is through? I’ll grant you that when Americans do things, a la sex parties, or in recent memory there have been other fads, like cigars, they do them in a silly, puerile manner, like little children who have just been exposed to something and immediately go ape. It’s a bit embarrassing to watch. But it doesn’t necessarily make sex toys, or sexual exploration beyond church sanctioned practices, or cigars any less fine and dandy. It just means that Americans are trying to figure out how you chase some pleasure in the world. For you and some others it seems ridiculous to want to have a threesome with two pretty girls when there are lovely mountains to climb. But to others it makes perfect sense to want to climb a mountain and have a threesome too. Some women want to play with Rambunctious Rabbit too, NOT because they feel life is empty and they need to try to fix their deteriorating love life. But simply because it probably feels very good. Nothing wrong with that. It has never been one of our charictaristics as Americans to be comfortable with hedonism. Of course the Europeans are much better at these things, and much of the rest of the world too has an easier time with naughtiness and taboo. But Americans are honest, hard working and believing people who have that innocent idealism about them when it comes to propriety and it is indeed something that makes us special and keeps us free from the blase, relativistic and ultimately corrupting temptations that are the ills of cultures more at ease with pleasures of the flesh. But that fact isn’t adequate as an argument for remaining opposed to sex toys or other worldly temptations. This whole business reminds me of the arguments conservatives make against drugs, or smoking or such….oh people are trying to fill a void, they are unhappy or needing to rebel or blah blah. In fact, most people who try drugs or enjoy tobacco do so simply because it can be pleasant or interesting. They have no intention of harming anyone, including themselves. It doesn’t surprise me that women are having these sex parties. It’s about time even if it is a little silly. I hope these women are using the products and doing whatever they fantasize about with their boyfriends, or husbands or by themselves, as long as no one gets hurt. I live in downtown Manhattan and I’m one of those ‘freaky deaks.’ My girlfriend is too. We for instance love playing with another girl. We do that from time to time. It’s hot, and the girls we meet are professional, smart attractive women in Manhattan who are intent on having fun before their time is through on the earth or before they chose to ’settle down.’ Good for them. On the other hand we don’t like orgies, or s/m clubs or toys. Lots of people we meet however do like that stuff, and whatever floats their boat is amusing to me. I don’t know if you can easily and cleanly qualify whether the world is a better place when people do wild things in the bedroom or try drugs or whatever…but try putting it up to a vote and see if people want to return to 100 years ago when the only fun available was fishing in a stream. I’m sure even most self styled conservatives would have to admit that they like things just the way they are, for the most part , despite certain elements of tackiness and excess.