Two American Marines were slightly injured by a large stampede of

lawyers at the exit gates of Guantanamo Bay Detention Facility, as the

idealistic advocates rushed to leave Cuba. Reportedly, the attorneys

are headed for England, where they will offer their services to the

accused bombers. “We just want to make sure they get a fair trial,

and the Christina Aguilera is kept to a minimum,” said one, while

simultaneously barking into his cellphone, “Are you Muktar’s mother?

Fantastic!”