This is one of these moments where American political culture is really deficient. What we need is spectacle. When Holy Roman Emperor Henry IV had to show penance in 1077, he walked to Canossa and stood for three days, bareheaded, in the snow. Maybe Hayward should walk through oil sludge and sand to his hearings?

Or maybe, he should drag a full oil drum around with him, like Robert De Niro with his armor in The Mission.

Personally, I’d prefer we kicked it Yakuza style. Hayward should cut off parts of his fingers for every 10,000 barrels of oil that spills into the sea.

Oh, and we should definitely trick out Capitol Hill interns with rotten fruit and vegetables to hurl at him.

That would boost news ratings.