Good grief: “Derb—I don’t even know what sock suspenders are, but I do

know that back in my undergraduate days, I was able to fit a full 12 ounce

can of beer into each sock and nonchalantly walk into my alma mater’s

football stadium, which does not serve alcoholic beverages. Airplane

bottles of liquor were even easier to sneak in, although making the switch

to hard liquor after a morning’s worth of beer at the tailgate often leads

to unintended consequences. If I could wait in line and slip through the

pat down from security with two full, ice-cold beers, I would have to

imagine that Berger could make it out of the archives with a few papers in

there.”