Jonah, you must see the Left Behind movies. Growing Pains meets the Rapture. Kirk Cameron & the Marboro man at the Wailing Wall.

What Rod memorably wrote about the first one:

Do fake boobs go to heaven too? I ask because if the feature film Left Behind has it right, and all the true believers in Jesus Christ will be beamed to paradise in advance of the Antichrist’s rule, and the clothes off each Christian’s back will fall right where he or she stood before God’s eye twinkled — well, what, then, is going to happen to breast implants? Artificial knees and hips? Does Pastor Jay Bakker, the pierced progeny of Jim and Tammy Faye, get to take his golden liploop to that dee-luxe apartment in the sky?
Sorry to be impious, brethren and sistren, but Left Behind made me do it. The movie, which opened in theaters this past weekend after selling nearly 3 million copies on videocassette, is bad beyond all telling. It’s like The Day of the Jackal as conceived by Ned Flanders, and produced by the film and video department of a rural Bible college…

I don’t recommend it to most people, but for Jonah it seems like a requirement. You can’t be an expert in bad cultural moments without it.