Kathryn: Never mind Mars & Venus, how about Juno, Minerva, and Venus? I am

speaking, of course, of the Judgement of Paris, when that dimwitted Trojan

prince was supposed to say which of the three goddesses was fairest. They

all tried to bribe him, of course: Juno offered many fair states and

cities, Minerva glory in war, and Venus offered him the most beautiful woman

in the world for his bed. Paris, doofus that he was, went for Venus’s

offer. Unfortunately the most beautiful woman in the world was Helen,

currently married to the king of Argos… and hence the Trojan War etc. etc.

Juno was seriously ticked off at not having been chosen (“spretaeque iniuria

formae” etc for all you Virgil fans), took against the Trojans, and tossed

poor Aeneas about on land and sea.

My point? We might have been spared the whole business if only Juno could

have offered Paris *POWER TOOLS*.