An e-mail:

As President of [Major University’s] Interfraternity Council, I am shocked and disappointed that you would so callously and obviously besmirch the honor of Fraternity Men everywhere. As a group, we provide millions of hours and dollars worth of service and philanthropy every year, as well as fostering ideals of excellence and instilling character in young men.
Also? Thanks for the idea. We’ll have the pledges do it this year.

ME: I relieve my guilt by considering this post a heads-up to all freshmen parents. Skip Orientation, just read The Corner.