Dear Reader, please allow me to talk to you for a moment about the stupidest nonsense I’ve yet written about. (I promise there is a reason.) For I have bad news: Justice Alito stands accused of joining the “Bud Light boycott” — he sold some stock, apparently — and is therefore likely a black-robed transphobe. Once again, the dignity of the high court is at stake; when will these corrupt conservative justices stop pelting us with coded messages of bigotry?
Yes, the Bud Light boycott. Remember that ridiculous circus? The purportedly alcoholic beverage marketed under the deceptive name of “beer” did a bizarre March Madness promotion last year where they featured recently buzzy (as well as recently transgender) internet celebrity Dylan Mulvaney on a can. As you all remember well, the heavens then instantly parted, and down came Pestilence, first of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, as Johnny Cash’s voice began to intone, “And I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four beasts saying — Come and see. And I saw.”
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