Forgive a moment of personal privilege here. I’ve spent the week being called a rape apologist and pro-rape for publicly calling Rolling Stone’s story false, so I’m going to admit to schadenfreude about this. I do feel bad for Jackie. Either something terrible happened to her or something terrible didn’t. But either way she clearly has issues to work out. I have no sympathy whatsoever for Sally Kohn, Diana Crandall, or the legions of Twitter and e-mail trolls who’ve attacked my decency and insisted that questioning this story amounts to the patriarchy protecting our rape privileges.

One thing that will be great fun to watch: the coming lawsuit. Maybe UVA won’t sue. But Phi Kappa Psi will be like Luca Brasi after Vito Corleone was shot. Nothing can or should hold them off. At least I hope that’s the case. Rolling Stone accused the members of that fraternity of being members of an evil, ongoing, criminal enterprise. I actually want to get work on a screenplay or maybe TV series treatment for a comedy where a fraternity gets to own Rolling Stone magazine. I’m picturing a scene where the fraternity brothers rush into the office like the caddies during open pool hours in Caddyshack, just grabbing any stuff they want. “I call dibs on Hunter Thompson’s typewriter!” Zac Efron call your agent!

Oh one last thing. Rolling Stone’s statement and this Washington Post piece appeared after I sent in this week’s G-File, so my apologies for what turned out to be a lot of dead-horse kicking. I will try to update it for tomorrow’s online version.