The Onion:

WASHINGTON—Sen. Dikembe Mutombo (R-CO) showed that he is still one of the most dominant big men in Congress Thursday, blocking a record 16 bills in one legislative session. . . .
“He stuffed the new jobs bill right back in Harry Reid’s face,” Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) told reporters. “And then when Reid tried to put the bill back up for consideration, Sen. Mutombo blocked it a second and then a third time. That’s when I knew he had a chance at the record.”
“He just completely dominates the Senate floor,” McCain added.