By the miracle of Microsoft Excel, I can now bring you the results of my

reader poll on famous women who are sexy but not pretty.

I got a huge e-mail bag on this. I discounted a small proportion because

the nominee was obviously pretty. Anyone who thinks that Marilyn Monroe was

not pretty is in desperate need of a good optometrist.

That left me with 343 nominations covering 166 names. The only names with 5

or more nominations were as follows:

Barkin, Ellen————–30

Bernhard, Sandra———–14

West, Mae——————13

Madonna——————–12

Parker, Sarah Jessica——12

Lewis, Juliette————-6

Aguilera, Christina———5

Cher (in her original bod)–5

Davis, Bette—————-5

Fiorentino, Linda———–5

Gershon, Gina—————5

Huston, Anjelica————5

Jolie, Angelina————-5

Mirren, Helen—————5

Thatcher, Margaret———-5

Ellen Barkin is the clear winner for the title America’s Not-Pretty-But-Sexy

Sweetheart.

And, as if I didn’t already know what a peculiar person I am, not one of

those hundreds of nominations agreed with my own.