I am going to spend too much time thinking about this:

Dear Jonah,
Here is the only truly original thought that I have ever had: Why is it that we don’t have a punctuation mark to denote a whisper? We have one to denote an exclamation – the venerable exclamation point!!! Why not something like an inverted exclamation point to denote a whisper?
I see you as possibly the only other person on earth who would give this more than millisecond of thought as you seem to have a propensity toward minutiae (of which I respect and admire). I kind of hope you will champion the cause of rectifying this oversight in what is otherwise a great language through your own thoughts and input from the collection of intellects in the Corner.
I look forward to your well thought out response on this matter which could possibly and rightly include a three part resolution (e.g. storm the halls of Webster’s, sit-ins at Oxford Univ. Press, etc). Yours in solidarity.