Rich:

I am rapidly becoming a world-class authority on this topic. The following

has helped, from reader Chris Mueller:

“Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit.”
“He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.”
“Have a cup of coffee–it’s already been ’saucered and blowed.’”
“She’s so stuck up, she’d drown in a rainstorm.”
“It’s so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs.”
“My cow died last night, so I don’t need your bull.”
“He’s as country as cornflakes.”
“This is gooder’n grits.”
“If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it.”
“I’m ’bout as”:
“Nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.”
“Busy as a moth in a mitten.”
“Happy as a clam at high tide.”