SPATS

A reader writes: “Derb – Just read your column, and think the idea of

bringing back spats is excellent, but we conservatives have more important

(and winnable, maybe) fights against the fall of fine haberdashery. Namely,

saving the necktie. I am writing you in a beautiful, Italian-made dress

shirt that looks silly because I have on no tie. I’ve tried my best to keep

the tie alive, but my attempts are met with curiosity at best and scorn at

worst. Spats are a lost cause – Please use your considerable influence to

help me in my reactionary battle.”

Well, of course it’s a lost cause. What on earth is conservatism about, if

not the championing of lost causes?

(And to this particular reader, two little words: BOW TIE. That’ll freak

’em out.)