No doubt whatsoever that the Squarepantsed One would be the best

choice for my sons, George W. Bush, and the nation. He firmly

believes in law and order (see the Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy

episodes). He has stopped the evil Plankton many times from stealing

the Krabby Patty recipe, so he would similarly stop Breyer and

Ginsburg from stealing the Constitution. He is absorbent, so if sat

next to Scalia and Thomas would quickly soak up the right ideas. And

perhaps most importantly, as Plankton notes in the SBSP Movie, his

chops are too righteous.