An ugly crime out here on Long Island: Five men gang-raped an 18-year-old Hofstra University student in a dormitory bathroom on the campus. What got my attention was the names of the four perps so far arrested. The forenames, to be precise: Kevin, Rendell, Jesus, and Stalin.

We all know what a menace the Kevins pose to the stability of Western Civ. Rendell I have no problem with — presumably his parents were fans of Ruth. It seems to me a person named Jesus ought to be better behaved. But . . . Stalin? The guy is 19, and so was christened in 1989–90. There were people around then who did not know the nature of Stalin’s regime? Well, obviously there were.

I suppose we should be grateful for small mercies: At least Mr. Felipe’s folks didn’t name him “Melsor,” as was quite commonly done in the old U.S.S.R. Stood for “Marx, Engels, Lenin, Stalin, October Revolution.”