So I’ve been home sick this week, with some sort of food poisoning, or stomach flu, or something. I’m going stark-raving mad with cabin fever. My wife and son are on the move, doing things outside, away from crazy unwashed dad. Yesterday, while they were away, like a dog going back to its own vomit I watched an episode of Jerry Springer, titled “I’m Pregnant by a Transsexual.” I can hear that damn haggis rustling around in the freezer, biding its time, waiting for the right moment to attack.

I’ve gotta get back to the office.