Andrew: I don’t know if Kitto’s “The Greeks” was still standard fare when you were at school in Blighty, but somewhere–I am working from memory–he quotes an Ionian spoof on the standard Spartan mother’s injunction to her son as he set off for battle: “Return home either with your shield, or on it!” The spoof goes something like:

Some Thracian has my shield.

I had to run; I left it in a wood.

But I got clean away, thank God!

So hang the shield–

I’ll get a new one, just as good.

The Spartans were of course better soldiers; but you can’t help thinking the Ionians got more out of life.