Number 8: DICK MORRIS.

So I say to myself “You’re too happy today. You need to be taken down a peg. Why not ask Dick Morris to be a guest speaker on the ‘post-election’ cruise – so you can hear him say ‘no.’” So I did – I sent the columnist/analyst/strategist/triangulator/knower-of-all-things Rodham/Clinton an invitation, and expected the brush-off.

But did you know that in addition to fools and drunks, God also protects cruise organizers (they might fall under the “fools” category)?! For indeed, Dick Morris – super-insightful on all things political – has not said “no.” Indeed, he has heartily agreed to join us on National Review 2004 Post-Election Caribbean Cruise.

What a coup! And what a time we will have this fall sailing on the balmy Caribbean, as our galaxial cast of Dick Morris, the witty, shrewd, calls-’em-like-I-sees-’em pundit, and our other confirmed speakers – Pat Toomey, Michelle Malkin, Victor Davis Hanson, Bernard Lewis, Ed Gillespie, Stephen Moore, Dinesh D’Souza, John Hillen, John Derbyshire, John O’Sullivan, Rich Lowry, Ramesh Ponnuru, and Jay Nordlinger – sort out the election results, prognosticate as to their effects short- and long-term, and elucidate on so much more.

“You know, I’ve always wanted to go on one of your cruises …” – if I had a nickel for every time I heard that, I could buy the darn ship! Well, the National Review 2004 Post-Election Caribbean Cruise is the perfect opportunity for you to stop day-dreaming and to actually experience the grand events that are the hallmark of every NR cruise (by the way, the typical NR cruise “alumnus” has been on three or four of our voyages – they don’t keep coming back again and again because they aren’t having a wonderful time!).

During our week (November 13-20) on the high seas, you’ll experience a luxury cruise (on Holland America Line’s glorious Zuiderdam). On top of that comes all the exclusive NR extras: numerous seminars of sharp/witty discussions of politics and policy, three revelrous pool-side cocktail parties, two late-night “smokers” (featuring H. Upmann cigars and complimentary cognac!), and intimate dining (on at least two nights) with our speakers. So stop dreaming about going on an NR sojourn and sign up for what is sure to be the Mother of All NR Cruises. Just visit www.nationalreviewcruise-carib.com – you’ll find complete information about our trip, the ship, and a secure reservation form can all be found there). And don’t forget: we’ve made it super affordable (our ultra-low prices start at just $1,549 a person!).