I really want to like Joss Whedon’s new show (he is, after all, my master now). But I’ve got to say that so far it’s pretty underwhelming. It’s not awful, and if it weren’t a Whedon production it might benefit from lower expectations. But it’s just not up to snuff.

If you haven’t seen it, it’s probably because you don’t care, so I’m not going to spend too much time describing it. Basically, it’s about a high-tech whorehouse — with some bells and whistles. Namely, the escorts are beautiful young things who have their brains reprogrammed for super-rich clients seeking the perfect date, the perfect companion, the perfect weekend whatever. Sex, clients can get from a normal hooker. At the Dollhouse Johns buy made-to-order lovers who can mountain climb, or motorcycle race and still do those really naughty things normal hookers have to fake enthusiasm about. You see, that’s the genius of the thing. Dollhouse implants personalities in their slaves that make them think they really love the clients or believe that back hair is sexy. Of course, the young’s can also be programmed to be killer ninja assassin types, hostage negotiators etc. But it’s pretty clear the company would be out of business if they were only selling pre-programmed super accountants. Anyway, Eliza Dushku — who played Faith in Buffy — is the super-hot programmable babe at the center of the story.

[spoilers below the fold]

Her programming is starting to go on the fritz and she’s remembering stuff she shouldn’t after her memory-wipes. One can only hope that as her actual personality and memories emerge the show becomes more interesting, because right now she’s little different than a hot holodeck babe in a pretty dull Star Trek.

But even if the story improves there are some problems with the show that make me skeptical it will either be a hit or be a favorite of mine.

First: Duskhku’s just not that good an actress. She’s not bad when she’s playing characters close to her own personality, but she’s just not believable too far outside that comfort zone. I didn’t watch Alias much, but it seems to me that Jennifer Garner was much better at this sort of thing.

Second, and more important, the dialogue isn’t Whedonesque. Buffy, Angel and most of all Firefly had rapid fire, brilliant, edgy dialogue that was just a joy to listen to at times, even when not much of interest was being said. There’s just none of that in Dollhouse. Maybe it’s coming, somehow. But so far, it’s all so very slow.

Third, there’s the whole evil problem. I’m sure Whedon & Co. are aware of this drawback and probably have a solution in mind. But we’re clearly supposed to grow attached to some of the employees at the Dollhouse so at some point someone is going to need to explain why good people would join such an evil place. Just because they use a brain-wiping gizmo, and presumably pay the “dolls” (who survive) a nice sum at the end of their service, that doesn’t make what they’re doing much different than slavery. Dushku’s African-American handler, for example, really should have some moral misgivings about the whole affair. Indeed, his character seems to noble to have done anything but set fire to the place.

For all the flashing lights and sci-fi talk, what the proprietors of Dollhouse do is not morally distinguishable from putting a rufie in some girl’s Long Island ice tea or fuzzy navel.

Anyway, I hope Whedon is getting someplace good with this. But so far, it’s a real disappointment.

Update: From a reader:

Have the first two episode’s TiVo’d but had read on Gizmodo that Fox “corporatized” the first few episodes and that the second episode was the worst of the lot. Fortunately, it is supposed to get much better. I hope that is true because I, like you, and a big Whedon fan. Buffy was one of the best written shows over the last 15 years. I want it to succeed.