Thanks to the reader who sent me this little selection of newspaper correspondence from the future. It’s written by Craig Brown, the humorist now responsible for the Daily Telegraph’s Way of The World. To explain, CCTVs are the closed circuit surveillance cameras you see everywhere in the UK – and they see you.

“Further to your recent correspondence, I welcome proposals by the Government to place a CCTV camera in every household fridge. How else are we to stop the forward march of clinical obesity?The innocent have nothing to fear. Those existing on a balanced diet, including plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables, need not expect a visit from the health inspectorate. It is only those who flout the Government’s health guidelines by stocking up on too many fatty foods – butter, clotted cream, full-fat milk, cakes, fizzy drink etc, etc – who will find themselves in court. Those of your correspondents who remain opposed to CCTV cameras in the fridge are living in cloud-cuckoo land. They are the sort of people who, five years ago, would have opposed our introduction of CCTV in the car. Yet today statistics show that this innovation has led to a sharp drop in seat-belt crime, and a 50 per cent rise in prosecutions for talking, whistling or singing whilst driving. The benefits are incalculable. “

Read the whole thing, unless you are Nurse Bloomberg, in which case, don’t: it will give you far too many bad ideas.