Which one of these Gigli reviews will best match Affleck’s Tuesday night speech?

“Once you get past the staggering question of who gave this thing the green light, Gigli actually turns into a uniquely bad movie that yields real (albeit unintentional) laughter.” (Chris Vognar, Dallas Morning News)

“This is a movie that manages to keep finding new ways of being stupid.” (Eric Snider, Ericsinder.com)

“A grade-A misfire, fantastically uninvolving, a cinematic train wreck of slacked-jawed, distinguished proportions.” (Brent Simon, Entertainment Today)

“Gigli is precisely as awful as everyone’s been saying, and it’s a sad state of affairs when a 2+ hour parade of self-adoration can pass for an actual movie.” (Scott Weinberg, EFilmcritic.com)

“Despite all the reshoots, rewrites, re-edits and other changes, this is one awful movie.” (Jeff Vice, Deseret News, Salt Lake City)

and a very fitting one given Dem rhetoric…..

“There were tons of worse movies this year. Maybe this is like comparing Saddam Hussein to Hitler, but Gigli isn’t just the lesser of two evils, or three, or four.” (Fred Topel, About.com)

and for the Pennsylvania vote….

“Such an utter wreck of a movie you expect to see it lying on its side somewhere in rural Pennsylvania, with a small gang of engineers circling and a wisp of smoke rising from the caboose.” (Stephen Witty, Newark Star-Ledger)