In one of the most “you’ve got to be kidding me!” stories that I’ve come across in a while, the New York Times reports that New York City wants to spend $45 million to retrain laid-off Wall Street financiers. This is so incredibly offensive that I don’t know where to begin. But I’ll give it a try, nonetheless. First, just because they are laid-off does not mean that they are poor. Won’t a lot of this tax money be going to, well, rich people who don’t really need it? Second, even if they now find themselves with nothing, why should the taxpayers come to the rescue? If they didn’t manage to stock away anything for a rainy day, then tough. Third, exactly what is New York going to retrain these masters of the universe to do? This ought to be well worth watching. Fourth, if they’re smart enough and savvy enough to be the masters of the universe, they are smart enough and savvy enough to get back on their own two feet without the hard-earned cash pinched from some cabbie somewhere.

It’s as if the New York Times has become The Onion.