Mark: Oh no, you’re not dragging me into your wretched Caucasian feuds. I know how things are done up there.

As for your sainted Mesrob and his alphabetical endeavors:

This was probably an older alphabet to which Mesrop [sic] merely added vowels; but, in order to pacify the Greek ecclesiastics and the emperor Theodosius the Less, the Armenians concocted a story that it had been divinely revealed.
— Entry under “Armenian Language and Literature” in the 1911 Britannica

As they say in Tbilisi: “The buzzing of the flies does not make them bees”