Chuck Schumer can’t keep the names of his imaginary friends straight. Is it the O’Reillys or the Baileys? From The American Prospect last July:

I have fictional people in my head. They’re Joe and Eileen O’Reilly. They live in Massapequa. They’re registered independents. He’s an insurance salesman who makes 50,000 bucks a year; she works part-time in the schools, makes 20,000 bucks a year. I know these people; I grew up with these people. And that’s my neighborhood, transformed to 2006. And before I do anything, I talk to Joe and Eileen. One of my press secretaries got me into trouble because he told people , oh Schumer has imaginary friends. But I do. I don’t agree with Joe and Eileen … Joe and Eileen don’t agree with my view on gay marriage, but when I talk about gay marriage, I talk to them. I don’t talk to the New York Times editorial board, with all due respect. I talk to Joe and Eileen. And Joe and Eileen O’Reilly are happy with their lives. That’s an important thing to understand. When Democrats condescend to them, they hate it. “Oh, you poor person, we will help you.” You know what Joe and Eileen’s reaction is when you say that to them? [gesture] “I built my life. I’m proud of that. Don’t you tell me that you can help me that way.” With Joe and Eileen, things have changed. Technology has changed, and Joe and Eileen understand in their belly that there are some big forces out there that they need some help dealing with, which they didn’t feel in 1980. Terror. They feel terror. And technology has allowed small groups of bad people to strike in our heartland and do things we have never experienced before. They understand that. World economy, broadband, has allowed there to be a one-world labor market where Joe — not Joe, his job is pretty secure as an insurance salesman — but their kids are going to have to compete with people in China and India and everywhere else, and they know that. Technology has made people live longer. What do you do? How do you pay for it? Technology’s allowed their kids to have access to pornography. Joe would go the candy store and maybe take a quick glance at the dirty magazine section, now his kids can get everything.