The Republican National Committee wants your vote . . . for the location of the 2016 convention. The options are:

  1. A choice between three unbearable bemulleted cities in the worst state in the Union.
  2. The nation’s emerging porn capital.
  3. A Birkenstock liberal city in which five of the five largest employers are branches of government.
  4. A city known for its awesome barbecue and its stupid tomahawk-chop controversy.
  5. A city synonymous with embarrassing caricatures of likely Republican voters.
  6. Phoenix.

The nice thing about having the convention in Phoenix is that most Republican visitors would be tempted to stay in the much more livable Republican-dominated suburbs, recapitulating historical Republican trends in miniature.

See you in Scottsdale.