Two separate incidents document clear-cut examples of Avian terror.

And yet, Kathryn Lopez dismisses the danger with a pun. A pun! I’ll tell you what’s “for the birds,” Ms. Lopez. Appeasement!

Survival tip: It is a common myth that bird eyesight is dependent on movement. Standing still only makes you an easier target. You must always be prepared to run, and I recommend only going outdoors with people slower than you.