Jonah: Congratulations! on your offspring uttering the word “Tajikistan.”

Let me tell you, however, as one experienced in these things, that at your

daughter’s age, “Tajikistan” actually means “pizza.” Here are some other

words that mean “pizza”: “Kyrgyzstan,” “Burkina Faso,” “Myanmar,”

“omphaloskepsis,” “immanentize,” and “eschaton.”

However, should your child say “paradimethylaminobenzaldehyde,” that means

“soda.”