No, thanks. I watched the Mets.

In what other sport, when the championship game is tied at the end of regulation time, do they completely change not only the rules but the entire nature of the game, in order to determine a winner?

Imagine the Super Bowl is tied after four quarters, so they get rid of the defenses, the offensive linemen, the running backs and the receivers on both teams, and decide the winner based on a punt-pass-and-kick contest.

Imagine Game 7 of the World Series is tied after nine innings, so we get rid of the pitchers and the defenses, pick five hitters on each side, and see who can hit the most fungoes out of the park.

Penalty kicks? What’s wrong with playing overtime until someone scores a real goal? I realize soccer is already a tediously long game in which almost nothing ever happens, and overtime could go on for a very, very long time. But they only play this World Cup every four years, right? Even the French and Italians ought to be able to work this out by, say, 2009, no? I mean, do all forms of overtime violate EU labor laws?

Soccer … something else Europe can keep.