Read the email I get hourly. I thought this one was at least…unique, in it’s own way:

so your afraid of the liberal facists taking over. yea i would be too mr goldberg. i mean their going to make laws that you have to treat others equal, that you can’t discriminate, or oppress anyone. their going to make it so women can make their own decisions about reproduction and contraceptives, their going to make laws about stem cell research so we can possibly cure some of people of certain diseases, and they may even make gay marriage legal. ohhhhhhhhh. terrible terrible. and you know what mr goldberg they might even make a law that says we all have to hold hands and sing kum bye yah. now thats really going to stink isn’t it mr golderg. ????? i don’t blame you for not wanting to live in that kind of world. its much better when were at each others throats and calling one another names. not to mention being a bigot and a racist. just think mr goldberg if the nasty liberals take over you can’t be a bigot of a racist anymore. we will all have to get along. what is this world coming to. well you won’t have to go to church or believe in god either. are you a radical extremist christian mr goldber? not with a name like goldberg. do you go to the jewish temple? i have often wondered why mr goldberg why jews don’t accept jesus as the son of god. well many moons ago my professor at college told me. she said they – means jews- were looking for a political messiah to come down and cursh the enemy. like stomping on bugs. only he didn’t do that. he was more concerned about your soul than stomping on anybody.why don’t you ask jesus to come into your heart mr goldberg. you could use a friend in the afterlife. we all could. maybe just maybe he can change your heart and turn you into a nice person instead of a hateful person. and then you will see the light. jesus was jewish not christian. he was on your side not the gentiles but somehow the gentiles got a hold of him and made him their king. personally i am glad as he is part of my life and he is the best friend anyone could ever have. and he is not hateful or mean or rude or any of those awful adjectives we use to describe others. the religious right doesn’t know god or jesus because if they really knew him then they would act the way the way they do. instead of trying to destory everybody and put them down they would be building them up. god forgive me for saying ths mr goldberg but you look like one of those rich snooty kids who thinks their better than everyone. you need to get down off of cloud 9 and come down to the real world. you need jesus to change your heart and you need to love your fellow man. mabye you could join jews or jewish. well ask him to come into your life mr goldberg because you need it. you need him and i guarantee jesus will forgive your sins. just ask him. thats all just ask him. he is a pretty nice person. he loves everyone even if their jerks but he will only let certain people be with him after death., a friend of jesus christ

Update: From a reader:

I’m guessing Jesus didn’t cheat off of this guy in English class.