THE WEEK

□ The government of Canada has ten thousand bottles of booze, which it confiscated from people who bought it in Maine, where it’s cheaper thanks to the laws of the government of Canada, and it can’t pour the stuff down the drain any more, because that would violate the pollution laws of the government of Canada, and it is getting desperate to know what to do with the stuff, even while it goes on confiscating more of it, because buying it cheaper is contrary to the laws of the government of Canada, and you’d think they could at least consider some fruitful suggestions by the citizenry, such as having a bash for “sixty thousand close friends,” but, then, finding sixty thousand friends of the government of Canada may not be all that easy, even with free booze.

□ Last week, George Bush, Jack Kemp, Bob Dole, Alexander Haig, Pete du Pont, Pat Robertson, and Donald Rumsfeld appeared in Nashua, New Hampshire, at a big Republican get-together. Bush gave the principal speech, a good defense of covert action along with an insistence that it be professionally managed. The other candidates took up their characteristic themes and had good things to say. But one day earlier, Secretary of Education William Bennett had given a major speech in Manchester, New Hampshire, plus a lengthy interview in the statewide newspaper. If you think the timing was coincidental, we don’t. Bennett, a solid conservative, is becoming available.

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□ The government of Canada has ten thousand bottles of booze, which it confiscated from people who bought it in Maine, where it’s cheaper thanks to the laws of the government of Canada, and it can’t pour the stuff down the drain any more, because that would violate the pollution laws of the government of Canada, and it is getting desperate to know what to do with the stuff, even while it goes on confiscating more of it, because buying it cheaper is contrary to the laws of the government of Canada, and you’d think they could at least consider some fruitful suggestions by the citizenry, such as having a bash for “sixty thousand close friends,” but, then, finding sixty thousand friends of the government of Canada may not be all that easy, even with free booze.

□ Last week, George Bush, Jack Kemp, Bob Dole, Alexander Haig, Pete du Pont, Pat Robertson, and Donald Rumsfeld appeared in Nashua, New Hampshire, at a big Republican get-together. Bush gave the principal speech, a good defense of covert action along with an insistence that it be professionally managed. The other candidates took up their characteristic themes and had good things to say. But one day earlier, Secretary of Education William Bennett had given a major speech in Manchester, New Hampshire, plus a lengthy interview in the statewide newspaper. If you think the timing was coincidental, we don’t. Bennett, a solid conservative, is becoming available.