The Gimlet Eye

THERE are two kinds of laws: Mom Laws, and Dad Laws. Mom always wants to regulate, control, and pass laws about every single second of human existence. Mom Laws are things like, “Never go out without a muffler, even if you’re in a hurry.” Or “Never make anybody feel bad, even if you don’t like him.” Or “Don’t take the library book off the shelf unless you really want to read it.”

Dad, on the other hand, wants to control nothing. Anything is legal to Dad, as long as it doesn’t cause immediate death. “Got a new rifle, son? Well, just don’t point it at anybody’s brain.” And if you try to force Dad to pass a law about something, he’ll do everything he can to avoid it.

JB

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Joe Bob Briggs

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THERE are two kinds of laws: Mom Laws, and Dad Laws. Mom always wants to regulate, control, and pass laws about every single second of human existence. Mom Laws are things like, “Never go out without a muffler, even if you’re in a hurry.” Or “Never make anybody feel bad, even if you don’t like him.” Or “Don’t take the library book off the shelf unless you really want to read it.”

Dad, on the other hand, wants to control nothing. Anything is legal to Dad, as long as it doesn’t cause immediate death. “Got a new rifle, son? Well, just don’t point it at anybody’s brain.” And if you try to force Dad to pass a law about something, he’ll do everything he can to avoid it.