Thoughts Out of the Bag

Of course, nobody has come close to ascertaining the real cause of the recession. Weighty columns filled with weighty speculations are perhaps written by men with intellects too weighty to recognize the ultimate importance to life and society of frivolous matters. The history of the recession is as simple as this:

In February of 1957, or thereabouts, dress designers dreamed up yet another way of mulcting (or is it milking?) more money from the sex that languishes after the opportunity to demonstrate the supineness of its kind. Cognizant of the fact that Woman’s name is not vanity, but gullibility, these hirudinoid creatures perverted style back to the mannish, shapeless invertedness of the 1920s. By May of 1957, every high-fee peroxide tart and social show-off paraded Fashion’s newly certified, undeniably expensive, horrors through the Flamingo Hotels, the El Moroccos and the Moulin Rouges of social notoriety. It was not long before women dressed in the vestments of sanity began to feel as ragged as Cinderella beside her jeweled and plumed stepsisters.

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Peter Crumpet

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Of course, nobody has come close to ascertaining the real cause of the recession. Weighty columns filled with weighty speculations are perhaps written by men with intellects too weighty to recognize the ultimate importance to life and society of frivolous matters. The history of the recession is as simple as this:

In February of 1957, or thereabouts, dress designers dreamed up yet another way of mulcting (or is it milking?) more money from the sex that languishes after the opportunity to demonstrate the supineness of its kind. Cognizant of the fact that Woman’s name is not vanity, but gullibility, these hirudinoid creatures perverted style back to the mannish, shapeless invertedness of the 1920s. By May of 1957, every high-fee peroxide tart and social show-off paraded Fashion’s newly certified, undeniably expensive, horrors through the Flamingo Hotels, the El Moroccos and the Moulin Rouges of social notoriety. It was not long before women dressed in the vestments of sanity began to feel as ragged as Cinderella beside her jeweled and plumed stepsisters.