The Bent Pin

A SOUL-SEARING debate has reared its head and will, rest assured, go on rearing and raging and “turbulenting,” as Contessa Brewer might put it, right up until Election Day. At issue is the question “Why does the Right hate Michelle Obama?”

This is made to order for a three-part hysteriathon that cable news calls a “Special” and flacks for weeks ahead of time. Abevy of thoughtful ‘n’concerned vivisectionists will endlessly analyze Michelle’s timetable for loving her country, her murky college thesis, and her alleged use of “Whitey,” all to no avail. If they want to know why the Right hates Michelle Obama all they have to do is ask me. I can tell them in five words: Michelle has Jane Fonda’s mouth. I don’t mean the impassioned drivel that comes out of their respective oral cavities. I’m talking pure physiognomy here. I mean the mouth itself: Michelle looks like Jane. It’s like looking at two Hapsburgs, one white, one black, with the same unmistakable hereditary jaw. The inbred Hapsburgs had a full underbite, i.e., the top teeth are behind the bottom teeth when the mouth is closed, so that when they talked their protruding lower lip looked like an infuriated plow. They may have smiled sometimes but nobody could be sure because it always looked like a sneer.

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Florence King

Florence King was a contributing editor of National Review.

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A SOUL-SEARING debate has reared its head and will, rest assured, go on rearing and raging and “turbulenting,” as Contessa Brewer might put it, right up until Election Day. At issue is the question “Why does the Right hate Michelle Obama?”

This is made to order for a three-part hysteriathon that cable news calls a “Special” and flacks for weeks ahead of time. Abevy of thoughtful ‘n’concerned vivisectionists will endlessly analyze Michelle’s timetable for loving her country, her murky college thesis, and her alleged use of “Whitey,” all to no avail. If they want to know why the Right hates Michelle Obama all they have to do is ask me. I can tell them in five words: Michelle has Jane Fonda’s mouth. I don’t mean the impassioned drivel that comes out of their respective oral cavities. I’m talking pure physiognomy here. I mean the mouth itself: Michelle looks like Jane. It’s like looking at two Hapsburgs, one white, one black, with the same unmistakable hereditary jaw. The inbred Hapsburgs had a full underbite, i.e., the top teeth are behind the bottom teeth when the mouth is closed, so that when they talked their protruding lower lip looked like an infuriated plow. They may have smiled sometimes but nobody could be sure because it always looked like a sneer.