ARTS & MANNERS

THE THIRD ARTS AND MANNERS (NEE delectations) contest! Subject: Glorious Excuses. Competitors are asked to submit a minimum of two original excuses which will exonerate them from some sin or crime. Examples: The plea for mercy on the grounds that he was an orphan by a man who had murdered his parents. A schoolboy’s explanation of a deplorable report card: it provided plenty of evidence that he was not taking mind-expanding drugs. An Israeli Peeping Tom caught peeping at a girl undressing explained he was only following the example of King David, who fell in love with Bathsheba when she was taking a bath. Your uncorruptible judges: William F. Buckley, Priscilla Buckley, C. H. Simonds and myself. Three prizes plus a Booby Prize, all books. All entries must be postmarked by January 15, 1972.

The person I first associated with champagne was an elderly Italian great aunt, who drank a split every morning at eleven, lying on a chaise longue: This agreeable and worldly party, tired of living with a dull husband (her children were grown) in Aquila, in the Abruzzi, where it is cold in winter, had parlayed a slight bout of pneumonia into a villa in San Remo, where she spent all but the hottest summer months. She had delicate lungs, you see. She belonged to the side of my mother’s family we did not talk to, but curiosity overcame my mamma one day when we were not far from San Remo so that we went to see the old lady. I must have been around ten, and I remember her on an Empire sofa, covered with a white lacy shawl. For the occasion, she ordered up a whole bottle of the bubbly, and I got my own glassful. I liked it, and have ever since.

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Nika Hazelton

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William F. Buckley Jr.

THE THIRD ARTS AND MANNERS (NEE delectations) contest! Subject: Glorious Excuses. Competitors are asked to submit a minimum of two original excuses which will exonerate them from some sin or crime. Examples: The plea for mercy on the grounds that he was an orphan by a man who had murdered his parents. A schoolboy’s explanation of a deplorable report card: it provided plenty of evidence that he was not taking mind-expanding drugs. An Israeli Peeping Tom caught peeping at a girl undressing explained he was only following the example of King David, who fell in love with Bathsheba when she was taking a bath. Your uncorruptible judges: William F. Buckley, Priscilla Buckley, C. H. Simonds and myself. Three prizes plus a Booby Prize, all books. All entries must be postmarked by January 15, 1972.

The person I first associated with champagne was an elderly Italian great aunt, who drank a split every morning at eleven, lying on a chaise longue: This agreeable and worldly party, tired of living with a dull husband (her children were grown) in Aquila, in the Abruzzi, where it is cold in winter, had parlayed a slight bout of pneumonia into a villa in San Remo, where she spent all but the hottest summer months. She had delicate lungs, you see. She belonged to the side of my mother’s family we did not talk to, but curiosity overcame my mamma one day when we were not far from San Remo so that we went to see the old lady. I must have been around ten, and I remember her on an Empire sofa, covered with a white lacy shawl. For the occasion, she ordered up a whole bottle of the bubbly, and I got my own glassful. I liked it, and have ever since.