Letter from Washington

Perhaps you can tell me what all this means. I can’t make heads or tails of it. Recently I flew out to the Coast to find out what the national issues will be for the next few years. On the first leg of the flight, I read an issue of Newsweek, which told me, among other things, that Senator Gary Hart was one of the nation’s new conservative spokesmen. Puzzling. There was an hour to kill at O’Hare Airport in Chicago before continuing to San Francisco, so I walked around the terminal. Near the TWA ticket counters, there was a commotion, apparently some sort of a New Lettish demonstration. Kids were waving signs, passing out leaflets, and lecturing passersby. One of them stood out, a strikingly attractive girl holding up a large sign upon which, in big red letters, was printed the word “sex.” Businessmen were bumping into one another to get a better look, and when they stopped, the other demonstrators, or whatever they were, buttonholed them. An intriguing sign. But as you came closer, you saw words in small black letters above the big red “sex,” spelling out this sentence: “Nuclear power is even better than sex.” Aha, you thought. They’re conservative kids. But not at all. It was the U.S. Labor Party, battling “the forces of no-growth” and the “anti-science mob” in Washington who want to slow down nuclear development.

You are Socialists? I asked. Oh yes, they told me, and sold me a copy of their newspaper, New Solidarity, and a magazine called Fusion, which laid out, in response to “the no-energy program of the Administration,” a U.S. Labor Party energy program that would make the chairman of the Board of Standard of Indiana smile. There was a little hedging on natural-gas prices, to be sure. But the program adamantly opposed funds for developing “soft” energy sources, and it was full speed on “exploitation of existing [oil] wells and further exploration.” Strange. Back on the plane I looked at their newspaper. The hero of the day, his picture prominently displayed on the front page, was Richard Nixon’s old chum, Teamster boss Frank Fitzsimmons. And inside, singled out for praise for his “statesmanlike rallying of the American population” on the energy issue was the man Richard Nixon really wanted for Vice President—John Connally. Odd. Also, in the same issue, there was a reference to activity by “every Fabian ideologue from the Ford Foundation’s McGeorge Bundy to the national review . . .” Has anyone ever called us that before? And finally, just to ice the martini, there was an ad running in their magazine for the Conservative Book Club. At that point it was back to Newsweek. Obviously they’re right. If we’re Fabians, Gary Hart is certainly a conservative.

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Perhaps you can tell me what all this means. I can’t make heads or tails of it. Recently I flew out to the Coast to find out what the national issues will be for the next few years. On the first leg of the flight, I read an issue of Newsweek, which told me, among other things, that Senator Gary Hart was one of the nation’s new conservative spokesmen. Puzzling. There was an hour to kill at O’Hare Airport in Chicago before continuing to San Francisco, so I walked around the terminal. Near the TWA ticket counters, there was a commotion, apparently some sort of a New Lettish demonstration. Kids were waving signs, passing out leaflets, and lecturing passersby. One of them stood out, a strikingly attractive girl holding up a large sign upon which, in big red letters, was printed the word “sex.” Businessmen were bumping into one another to get a better look, and when they stopped, the other demonstrators, or whatever they were, buttonholed them. An intriguing sign. But as you came closer, you saw words in small black letters above the big red “sex,” spelling out this sentence: “Nuclear power is even better than sex.” Aha, you thought. They’re conservative kids. But not at all. It was the U.S. Labor Party, battling “the forces of no-growth” and the “anti-science mob” in Washington who want to slow down nuclear development.

You are Socialists? I asked. Oh yes, they told me, and sold me a copy of their newspaper, New Solidarity, and a magazine called Fusion, which laid out, in response to “the no-energy program of the Administration,” a U.S. Labor Party energy program that would make the chairman of the Board of Standard of Indiana smile. There was a little hedging on natural-gas prices, to be sure. But the program adamantly opposed funds for developing “soft” energy sources, and it was full speed on “exploitation of existing [oil] wells and further exploration.” Strange. Back on the plane I looked at their newspaper. The hero of the day, his picture prominently displayed on the front page, was Richard Nixon’s old chum, Teamster boss Frank Fitzsimmons. And inside, singled out for praise for his “statesmanlike rallying of the American population” on the energy issue was the man Richard Nixon really wanted for Vice President—John Connally. Odd. Also, in the same issue, there was a reference to activity by “every Fabian ideologue from the Ford Foundation’s McGeorge Bundy to the national review . . .” Has anyone ever called us that before? And finally, just to ice the martini, there was an ad running in their magazine for the Conservative Book Club. At that point it was back to Newsweek. Obviously they’re right. If we’re Fabians, Gary Hart is certainly a conservative.