Books, Arts & Manners: De-Frazzling the Holidays

A few years ago, I was on a Christmas talk show with one of the more celebrated ladies of the women’s lib movement; a prudent regard for the law might suggest that I not mention her name. She was a nice, pretty woman, but my, oh my, was she full of self-pity, wailing that during these festive days she was really alone, that nobody loved her as she deserved to be loved, and so on and on. Let us tiptoe away from the debate that followed when, to the talk-show host’s dismay, I rose in anger and asked her why on earth she did not while away her empty days and evenings by going to a hospital and being useful to the sick. It works wonders in making one forget one’s own troubles, I assured her; and I know, because being useful to the sick got me over several bad Christmases in my own life. Enough of my being pious on the subject—this is only meant to show that it is silly to suffer when one does not have to. (You can see that the finer points of masochism are lost on me.) Which brings me to the point of this Delectations: Do something this Christmas for somebody else, whether it is someone you know who needs help, or a total stranger in a hospital somewhere.

But first of all, you have to realize that you can’t do anything for anybody else in the true sense of the word if you are frazzled yourself with the brouhaha of the season. There is nothing we can do (at least I don’t know what to do) about the horrible commercialism and materialism of Christmas shopping, which now begins even before Thanksgiving and makes me wish to own no more than will go into an oatmeal box; Christmas has become a media hype as well. But we can put some distance between us and “them” by not paying attention to anything we don’t think worth while, meaning largely standing up to the kids and saying no to their (most likely) exaggerated Christmas demands and expectations. Also, for the sake of sanity as Christmas draws nearer, even if you are not going to abide by it, it pays to write down what has to be done when and where in the way of Christmas preparations.

NH

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Nika Hazelton

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A few years ago, I was on a Christmas talk show with one of the more celebrated ladies of the women’s lib movement; a prudent regard for the law might suggest that I not mention her name. She was a nice, pretty woman, but my, oh my, was she full of self-pity, wailing that during these festive days she was really alone, that nobody loved her as she deserved to be loved, and so on and on. Let us tiptoe away from the debate that followed when, to the talk-show host’s dismay, I rose in anger and asked her why on earth she did not while away her empty days and evenings by going to a hospital and being useful to the sick. It works wonders in making one forget one’s own troubles, I assured her; and I know, because being useful to the sick got me over several bad Christmases in my own life. Enough of my being pious on the subject—this is only meant to show that it is silly to suffer when one does not have to. (You can see that the finer points of masochism are lost on me.) Which brings me to the point of this Delectations: Do something this Christmas for somebody else, whether it is someone you know who needs help, or a total stranger in a hospital somewhere.

But first of all, you have to realize that you can’t do anything for anybody else in the true sense of the word if you are frazzled yourself with the brouhaha of the season. There is nothing we can do (at least I don’t know what to do) about the horrible commercialism and materialism of Christmas shopping, which now begins even before Thanksgiving and makes me wish to own no more than will go into an oatmeal box; Christmas has become a media hype as well. But we can put some distance between us and “them” by not paying attention to anything we don’t think worth while, meaning largely standing up to the kids and saying no to their (most likely) exaggerated Christmas demands and expectations. Also, for the sake of sanity as Christmas draws nearer, even if you are not going to abide by it, it pays to write down what has to be done when and where in the way of Christmas preparations.