On the Right

New York, Dec. 28—Guess what Shirley Temple is doing right now? As chief of protocol, she has to decide whether William Simon should be permitted to buy from the United States Government some of the gifts he was given while Secretary of the Treasury, or whether that would be opposed to the “spirit” of the law. The gifts Mr. Simon desires to hang on to are those that “mean something special” to him, namely, a Russian shotgun, a cigarette box from Saudi Arabia, two silver- colored necklaces from Israel, a set of matched pistols from Argentina, a wristwatch from Leonid Brezhnev with Brezhnev’s name engraved on it, and a porcelain sculpture from Spain. The law says that any gifts from foreign officials worth more than $50 must be turned over to the United States Government. What then happens to them, if you were President of the United States, is that they end up decorating those shrines ex-Presidents and their friends build to preserve their sacred memory; or, if you were a lesser light, they are quietly auctioned off a few years down the line by the General Services Administration.

Mr. Simon is a gun collector, which explains in part why he wants to hang on to the shotgun and to the pistols. The silver necklaces apparently have sentimental value (they alone are valued at less than $50, so there is no problem there). The porcelain sculpture from Spain presumably has nostalgic as well as artistic value. It isn’t plain why he wants to hang on to the watch. The only gift I would accept from Brezhnev is an urn containing the ashes of the Brezhnev Doctrine. On the other hand, if every time you look at your watch you see Brezhnev’s name, that’s not a bad idea either, since it is good to remind ourselves that life is nasty, brutish, and short, thanks substantially to Brezhnev. Furthermore, William Simon being one of the world’s exemplary libertarians, there are no grounds for suspecting any alienation of affection. If Mr. Simon goes back to Wall Street, he will no doubt want to be the only guy in the board room who tells the time by looking at Brezhnev’s watch.

About the Author

William F. Buckley Jr.

William F. Buckley Jr. founded National Review magazine in 1955.

Featured Tags

New York, Dec. 28—Guess what Shirley Temple is doing right now? As chief of protocol, she has to decide whether William Simon should be permitted to buy from the United States Government some of the gifts he was given while Secretary of the Treasury, or whether that would be opposed to the “spirit” of the law. The gifts Mr. Simon desires to hang on to are those that “mean something special” to him, namely, a Russian shotgun, a cigarette box from Saudi Arabia, two silver- colored necklaces from Israel, a set of matched pistols from Argentina, a wristwatch from Leonid Brezhnev with Brezhnev’s name engraved on it, and a porcelain sculpture from Spain. The law says that any gifts from foreign officials worth more than $50 must be turned over to the United States Government. What then happens to them, if you were President of the United States, is that they end up decorating those shrines ex-Presidents and their friends build to preserve their sacred memory; or, if you were a lesser light, they are quietly auctioned off a few years down the line by the General Services Administration.

Mr. Simon is a gun collector, which explains in part why he wants to hang on to the shotgun and to the pistols. The silver necklaces apparently have sentimental value (they alone are valued at less than $50, so there is no problem there). The porcelain sculpture from Spain presumably has nostalgic as well as artistic value. It isn’t plain why he wants to hang on to the watch. The only gift I would accept from Brezhnev is an urn containing the ashes of the Brezhnev Doctrine. On the other hand, if every time you look at your watch you see Brezhnev’s name, that’s not a bad idea either, since it is good to remind ourselves that life is nasty, brutish, and short, thanks substantially to Brezhnev. Furthermore, William Simon being one of the world’s exemplary libertarians, there are no grounds for suspecting any alienation of affection. If Mr. Simon goes back to Wall Street, he will no doubt want to be the only guy in the board room who tells the time by looking at Brezhnev’s watch.