Books, Arts & Manners: Dogs in the Manger

A spooked German shepherd bays at the huge Gothic vault overhead, response for some still newer Episcopal prayer book, I guess. Come unto me all you who travail and are heavy laden and I will anoint your goldfish. Here, now, at St. John the Divine Pantheist—which is larger and drearier than any other cathedral in Christendom—I, oop, trip over a bird cage. Then extravasate around six chihuahuas. Past the cat huddled and miserable in a baptismal font. God’s great blimp hangar is buttress to buttress full for this second annual Animal Procession and Blessing—the most recent social outreach of the New York Diocese. There are more dogs than you could throw a stick for: talk about ecumenical. All at once I know why the pathetic fallacy is pathetic.

I gave up being an Episcopalian almost eight years ago. In that sweet and gracious time since, I had let myself forget what Episcopal arrogance, elitism, and fat self-congratulation were like. Meanwhile, under Dean James Parks Morton, the Cathedral of Topical Relevance has made itself even more perfectly into a solid stone newscast. One bay is now dedicated to those who died from Big A. Another, naturally, commemorates the Holocaust. St. Francis is presiding over an Earth Shrine. On completion, the René Dubos Bioshelter will be warmed by solar heat. Since I left, César Chavez has spoken there: Oliver Tambo will arrive next week. There is even a memorial to Indira Gandhi. And the cathedral, a centerpiece in Upper West

A spooked German shepherd bays at the huge Gothic vault overhead, response for some still newer Episcopal prayer book, I guess. Come unto me all you who travail and are heavy laden and I will anoint your goldfish. Here, now, at St. John the Divine Pantheist—which is larger and drearier than any other cathedral in Christendom—I, oop, trip over a bird cage. Then extravasate around six chihuahuas. Past the cat huddled and miserable in a baptismal font. God’s great blimp hangar is buttress to buttress full for this second annual Animal Procession and Blessing—the most recent social outreach of the New York Diocese. There are more dogs than you could throw a stick for: talk about ecumenical. All at once I know why the pathetic fallacy is pathetic.

I gave up being an Episcopalian almost eight years ago. In that sweet and gracious time since, I had let myself forget what Episcopal arrogance, elitism, and fat self-congratulation were like. Meanwhile, under Dean James Parks Morton, the Cathedral of Topical Relevance has made itself even more perfectly into a solid stone newscast. One bay is now dedicated to those who died from Big A. Another, naturally, commemorates the Holocaust. St. Francis is presiding over an Earth Shrine. On completion, the René Dubos Bioshelter will be warmed by solar heat. Since I left, César Chavez has spoken there: Oliver Tambo will arrive next week. There is even a memorial to Indira Gandhi. And the cathedral, a centerpiece in Upper West

DK

About the Author

D. Keith Mano

D. Keith Mano was a TV screenwriter and author of ten books, including Take 5, recipient of the 1987 Literary Lion award, and columnist at National Review magazine for 17 years.