The Week

• Item. Calvert’s Whiskey calls back $30,000 worth of advertising because an Indian civil rights group objects to the use of a warbonneted chief and the word “firewater.” Item. The NAACP threatens a boycott if the Chrysler Pavilion at the World’s Fair doesn’t do something about its Bil Baird puppet show, which has four purple pistons singing a parody of “Dry Bones,” which goes: “Dem nuts, dem bolts, dem pistons . . .” Solution: Change the “dems” to “damns.” Change the firewater to grape juice. Change the purple pistons to purple cows. Change the purple cows to pink elephants. Change the Indian to Aunt Jemima. Change Aunt Jemima to Aunt Jeremiah. Change tomahawk to Uncle Thomas Hawk. Change boycott to mancott. Never give up.

• GOP Liberals attending the biennial convention of the Young Republican National Federation in Miami Beach June 14-18 may really have to scrounge for their crumbs of comfort. In 1963 the YRs elected Donald E. “Buzz” Lukens, an avowed Goldwater fan, as their chairman in a contest so wild and woolly that only The Star Spangled Banner could restore order. This time the leading contender for the chairmanship —Kansas State Senator Thomas Van Sickle, 27—is not merely a Goldwater supporter; he held down a key job in the famous Goldwater command-post trailer at San Francisco’s Cow Palace last July, while his fiancée was serving as chief receptionist at Goldwater’s 15th-floor headquarters in the Mark Hopkins. Worse yet, if worse be possible, his only visible opposition—North Carolina YR Chairman David Flaherty, 35—insists that he too is a conservative, and recently nailed down the support of the notoriously gung-ho California delegation by endorsing the Liberty Amendment to abolish the income tax. This maneuver understandably dismayed various Liberal delegations, largely from the Northeast, who have pitched tent in Flaherty’s camp on the theory that anybody would be better than Van Sickle. What they will do now is uncertain; that it will matter, unlikely.

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• Item. Calvert’s Whiskey calls back $30,000 worth of advertising because an Indian civil rights group objects to the use of a warbonneted chief and the word “firewater.” Item. The NAACP threatens a boycott if the Chrysler Pavilion at the World’s Fair doesn’t do something about its Bil Baird puppet show, which has four purple pistons singing a parody of “Dry Bones,” which goes: “Dem nuts, dem bolts, dem pistons . . .” Solution: Change the “dems” to “damns.” Change the firewater to grape juice. Change the purple pistons to purple cows. Change the purple cows to pink elephants. Change the Indian to Aunt Jemima. Change Aunt Jemima to Aunt Jeremiah. Change tomahawk to Uncle Thomas Hawk. Change boycott to mancott. Never give up.

• GOP Liberals attending the biennial convention of the Young Republican National Federation in Miami Beach June 14-18 may really have to scrounge for their crumbs of comfort. In 1963 the YRs elected Donald E. “Buzz” Lukens, an avowed Goldwater fan, as their chairman in a contest so wild and woolly that only The Star Spangled Banner could restore order. This time the leading contender for the chairmanship —Kansas State Senator Thomas Van Sickle, 27—is not merely a Goldwater supporter; he held down a key job in the famous Goldwater command-post trailer at San Francisco’s Cow Palace last July, while his fiancée was serving as chief receptionist at Goldwater’s 15th-floor headquarters in the Mark Hopkins. Worse yet, if worse be possible, his only visible opposition—North Carolina YR Chairman David Flaherty, 35—insists that he too is a conservative, and recently nailed down the support of the notoriously gung-ho California delegation by endorsing the Liberty Amendment to abolish the income tax. This maneuver understandably dismayed various Liberal delegations, largely from the Northeast, who have pitched tent in Flaherty’s camp on the theory that anybody would be better than Van Sickle. What they will do now is uncertain; that it will matter, unlikely.